A Light in the Flame

“There would be no stopping such a being. There could be no balance. Therefore, the Fates ensured long ago that such power must be split and that an absence of either ember would cause a collapse of all the realms. It wouldn’t be like the Rot—a slow death. It would be sudden and absolute for all. Kolis cannot Ascend another Primal to take the place of a fallen. By killing Nyktos, he’d doom himself. He understands that much, at least.”

“My father befriended him when he was a dragon. Nektas was the first to become a draken. He was the draken who gave his fire to the flesh my father lent to create the first mortal.”

“It’s clear that you should be the true Primal of Life,” I explained. “Not because it was your destiny, but because you’re good.”

“Ash grew up seeing that loss and sadness every time he looked in his father’s eyes. He felt that himself, never knowing his mother’s touch or hearing her voice. But Ash doesn’t fear becoming his father. He fears becoming his uncle.”

“Either way, you’re not weak, Sera. Not physically, but more importantly, not mentally. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, mortal or not. With or without the embers.”

“Only the Primal of Life can wield the kind of eather that can kill a nymph. It’s the same kind of power that can kill another Primal.”

“That is what infuriates me. From the first moment I saw you, you’ve behaved as if your life holds no value for you.”

“Fuck. You will be the death of me.”

“Fate even fucks with the Fates.”

“I didn’t realize that Primals—or men in general—had such little control over their cocks.”

“From the moment I learned that I no longer had to answer to a duty I never had a choice in accepting, I became my own person. Someone who gets to make their own choices. I will not be ordered about and told what I can and cannot do as if I have no power or control over my life, no matter what risks I may be taking. I am done living like that.”

“You have no idea what Nyktos has had to give up. What he’s been through. What he’s sacrificed for you, and then for you—”

“A Primal had to be behind this. No other could command a draken to attack. The question is which one? Who would know or suspect enough about you to be willing to anger both Nyktos and Kolis by allowing you to die?”

“I cannot wait to hear your rationale on this. I’m sure it involves something along the lines of: I do what I want because I can and fuck the consequences.”

“Either way, I will not play the I-don’t-want-you-but-no-one-else-can-have-you game. With you or anyone.”

“She’s not the enemy at the end of the day. You should know that. But if you don’t, all you have to do is go back out onto the Rise and look at the lives lost.”

“Heartmates usually only occur between two people whose unions are linked to some great purpose.”

“Daddy Nyktos is not happy.”

“But what I can tell you is something you already know. What you’ve spent your life preparing to become? What I trained you for? It wasn’t a waste. You are his weakness.”

“He would burn through the Shadowlands to obtain his graeca.”

“I just…I want you to know that I want this. I mean, when I told you before that I wanted to be your Consort, that still holds true. I want this, Ash.”

“It’s the piece of the soul—the spark—that all living creatures are born and die with. It allows them to love another not of their blood irrevocably, selflessly.” Penellaphe swallowed. “It must have been terribly painful to have that torn from you. To truly be unable to love.”

“Prophecies can often be confusing, even to those who receive them. And, sometimes, only bits and pieces of a prophecy are known by one—the beginning or the end—while the middle is known to another and vice versa. But some visions have come to pass, both in Iliseeum and in the mortal realm. It’s hard to see this since the destruction of the Gods of Divination and the passing of the last of the oracles.

“Just because someone shares the same bloodline as you doesn’t mean they deserve your time or thoughts.

“Seraphena will be a Consort more than worthy of the swords and shields each of you will wield to guard her. One the Shadowlands will be honored to have.”

“Prophecies are fucking pointless.”

“Perhaps I should’ve left with Nektas. I wonder if he would’ve…enjoyed putting me down for a nap. He did seem to like my gown.”

“Maybe I started doing it because instead of feeling like I couldn’t breathe, I was actually controlling it, and it wasn’t controlling me? I don’t know. But it made me feel in control. Not weak or something.”

“I hate that you spent so long being made to feel that way. And I loathe that I likely added to that feeling. For that, I do not think I could apologize enough. You are seen and heard, liessa.”

“There is a difference between someone trying to control you and someone trying to protect you. I know I may not behave like there’s a difference, but I do know there is one.”

“Why do you think I told you to go to him when he needed to feed? I knew you needed to help him. Not wanted. Not because you felt like you had to. But because you needed to.”

“They don’t need to say anything for me to know! Look, the last thing I need to do is make them more unhappy with me. And I don’t want to. They already have every reason to dislike me. They’re loyal to you, and I’m just the Consort you never wanted—who planned to kill you. If they had their way, I wouldn’t be here.” I stepped around him and continued down the hall, the exhaustion from earlier returning. “It is what it is.”

“Kolis believes all mortals should be in service to the Primals and gods. That their lives should be dedicated to appeasing the whims of those more evolved than they are. That those who do not worship the Primals with dedication and respect should be punished. He has already ordered the Primals and gods to punish mortals more harshly, even for the simplest indiscretions. You may not have seen this play out in your kingdom yet, or were simply unaware, but failure to even bow before a statue of a Primal could result in death in other places.”

“The essence in a god’s blood has many effects, but they come on far quicker and stronger when it’s the blood of a Primal.”

“All you’ve proven is what I’ve told you before. That one decent and kind bone I have in me belongs to you.”

“But none of your choices are preordained. Fate is not absolute. Fate is only a series of possibilities.”

“From the moment a Primal is born or is Ascended, the new nature of the Primal essence starts to change us. And the older we grow, and the more powerful that essence becomes, the harder it is to remember what the source of those emotions was and to be anything other than the very mortal flesh that contains power. And that essence—the Primal essence that allows us to influence mortals to flourish or decay, love or hate, create life and cause death—is never just good or bad. It’s only absolute. Unpredictable. Raw.”

“I guess every aspect of one’s life is somehow connected—every choice to do or not do something creates a chain reaction. You can’t help but wonder exactly how much is preordained.”

“What he means to say is that such a thing, a Primal of both Life and Death, is not meant to exist. It would be unthinkable for the embers of both to thrive in one being. But if they could? The kind of power they’d wield? It would be truly absolute. They could unravel realms in the same breath they created new ones.”

“The Primal of Life is the most powerful being in all the realms, usurping all other Primals and gods.”

“And if you keep looking at her like that, I’ll cut your eyes from their sockets and feed them to Setti.”

“I don’t know why death smells like that, but lilacs are special. They represent renewal, and both life and death are that—a renewal. If you ever see lilacs like this near water in the mortal realm, you can be assured that you’re near a gateway to Iliseeum—to Dalos, in particular.”

“The powerful, beautiful poppies that also remind me of hope. Those poppies are the hope of life. The power of those embers. Proof that life cannot be defeated, not even in death.”

“I care more because I cannot love, and I believe caring for others is far more important than loving just one.”

“What you did to protect me isn’t why I feel that way. I wanted to be more to you than a Consort in title only before I learned about that. What it did was help me understand a bit of what I saw. We don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to. But know that if you don’t kill her, I will find a way to do it myself.”

“Love makes anything possible. Makes anyone capable of the unexpected.”

“I’m his weakness. What I’ve been preparing for my whole life? It was for him. Not you. I can still try. Just help me get there, or…or let me go. Either one. I will fulfill my real destiny.”

“You are brave and strong. You will be a Consort more than worthy of their swords and shields.”

“I told you because I knew no other way to tell you what I know to be true—just in case you decide to follow this destiny you believe to be yours. It doesn’t matter what soul you carry inside you. What does is whether or not Kolis is capable of loving again, even his graeca. And he’s not. There’s nothing but rot and decay where his kardia should be. Kolis has no weakness.”

“Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you, Nyktos. If you want me as your Consort in title only, then you have no say over what I do or with whom, from this point until I take my last breath—whenever that may be.”

“But it wasn’t until Kolis experienced love and loss that he changed. That he began to become what he is today. Love can breathe life and inspiration into one, and the loss of it can rot and taint the mind of another. That is what Ash fears most. Loving someone. Losing them. Then becoming something even worse than Kolis.”

“She will die without the love of the one who Ascends her—a love that cannot be ignored. A love that must be acknowledged.”

“Seraphena has taken no oath, sworn no loyalties, nor does she yet wear the crown of the Consort. She has not been here long, but she was still willing to risk her life to protect all of you—all of those within the Shadowlands and beyond. Believing that she was the cause of the recent attacks, she planned to turn herself over to Kolis. Though she is not the cause. Her bravery is unmatched, even among all of you.”

“He may be eons older than me, and he may have the entire Court and most—if not all—of the Primals behind him, but if he makes even one move toward you, I will leave the entire City of the Gods in ruins.”

“I doubt you prefer the taste of eyes more than your steed, but refer to me as an accessory again, and it will be you who feeds on them.”

“That thread that broke off from all the possible strings that chart the course of your life? It was unexpected. Unpredictable. Fate is never truly written in bone and blood. It can be as ever-changing as your thoughts. Your heart. His.”

“Fate doesn’t usurp that, no matter how much the Arae probably wish they did in some situations. Fate just sees all the possible outcomes of free will.”

“Primal wards that make them very difficult to break. The bones will even hold a Primal once weakened. The only thing they have no effect on is a being of two worlds.”

“For fuck’s sake, Sera. There is such a thing as being too bold. Too brave.”

“Nothing is more powerful, more life and realm-altering than the ability to feel. To experience emotion. Love. Hate. Desire. To care for oneself. To care for another.”

“I can feel it—your blood. Your blood is really…hot.”