A Shadow in the Ember

“Only I get to determine what does and doesn’t involve me. What I do and do not do is of no concern to anyone. Not even a god.”

“That is why I am called the Blessed One. No one knows how I survived that kind of birth. Love caused their deaths long before either had taken their final breaths. Before my father even met my mother. Love is a beautiful weapon, often wielded as a means to control another. It shouldn’t be a weakness, but that is what it becomes. And those most innocent always pay for it. I’ve never seen anything good come from love.”

“My apologies. I should’ve elaborated. I’m very good at pretending to enjoy things I do not, but I was not pretending when I had your tongue in my mouth.”

“He’s a monster. He’s always been a monster. Our…our father knew that. Everyone knows that. He is, as you said, of little significance.”

“I remember how you showed me the way you like it. I play that over and over in my head. I could write a fucking tome on it by now. When I’m fisting my cock, I remember how you held my hand against you at the lake.”

“Do you really think I wanted to do this to you? To anyone? It was the only way we believed we could save our people. It was all I’d been taught. For my entire life. It’s all I’ve ever known. I would say I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t believe me. I don’t blame you for that, but don’t you dare insinuate that what I’ve done with you was purely an act or that what I’m feeling is fake when I’ve spent my entire godsdamn life not being allowed to want or even feel anything for myself! Not when I spent the last three years hating myself for the relief I felt when you didn’t take me because it meant I didn’t have to do what was expected of me.”

“You’re not unworthy. You’re not a curse or anything like that. You carry the ember of life in you. You carry hope within you. You carry the possibility of a future. You don’t know what the Primal of Death thinks.”

“To do what? Explain yourself? It is unnecessary. I know all that I need to. You were willing to do anything to save your people. I can respect that. I can also…respect how far you were willing to go to fulfill this duty of yours. But for what purpose? Love has never been on the table.”

“You are sitting next to me, gloriously naked, and I am intentionally staring.”

“I think you’re a lot of talk. You seem to have no real interest in anything beyond touching me, no matter what you claim you do with your hand and—”

“That what you just did is nothing short of a blessing. You’re a blessing, Sera. No matter what anyone says or believes, you are a blessing. You always have been. You need to know that.”

“But when I’m around you, the last thing I want is to be uncomplicated. Or in control. Or decent. What I want is your taste on my tongue again. What I want is to be so deep inside you that I forget my own fucking name. And I don’t even need to read your emotions to know how much you want that, too.”

“I know you should rest. I know I should…let you be, but I…If it’s okay with you, I would just like to be here with you. That’s all. Just be here.”

“It is far easier to be lied to than it is to acknowledge that you have been lied to.”

“You feel like silk and sunshine. Beautiful. That’s it, liessa, fuck my hand.”

“There are many ways you can be taken out. Thousands. And I’m well acquainted with all of them. Your options are endless. Some painless. Some quick. This way won’t be either.”

“Killing is not something one should have little regard for. It should always affect you, no matter how many times you do it. It should always leave a mark. And if it doesn’t, then I would have grave concerns about that individual.”

“Friendship? Even if I considered such a thing, I would never think of you. There is no way I could ever trust you. That I would not doubt or question every thought or action. Not when you were shaped and groomed to be whatever it is you believed I wanted. Not when you are just a vessel that would be empty if not for the ember of life you carry within you.”