A Soul of Ash and Blood

“Oh, so now you claim ownership of that title? Bear all the responsibilities of such? Good. About damn time. Your parents and Atlantia will rejoice. Alastir will likely come in his pants from happiness, and blah, blah, what-the-fuck-ever, but you aren’t just going to go in there as his Prince. You will be going in there as the Prince of Atlantia—the Prince who governs us all.”

“I prefer the name Casteel or Cas,” I stated. “If you don’t want to call me that, you can call me Prince Casteel Da’Neer, the second son of King Valyn Da’Neer, brother of Prince Malik Da’Neer, but do not call me the Dark One. That is not my name.”

“I should’ve known then, and maybe I did on some subconscious level because that’s when I started rethinking my plans, wondering how I could give you choice and freedom. I think I knew even then, before we spent time under the willow and left Masadonia, that I couldn’t just send you back to the Ascended. But I didn’t know how to acknowledge it. I don’t think I was capable of doing so then, to be honest.”

“Talk to her. That’s what Nyktos did when she was in stasis. I don’t know if she heard him, but I think it helped. I know it helped him.”

“I’d gladly serve any monstrous being if it meant you were safe. I can’t fault him for that. I really can’t. But…I don’t know how I can forgive him for what he planned to do to you. He may not have harmed you with his own hands, but his actions left their marks on you.”

“You’re going to hate that you begged me to kiss you, to do more. But even without my blood in you, I know you’ve never stopped wanting me. But when I’m deep inside you again, and I will be, you won’t be able to blame the influence of blood or anything else.”

“Do you remember when we were boys, and I first shifted after being in my mortal form for a while? I had trouble separating myself from the wolf, but you were there. You helped remind me who I was. I know it can be difficult to pull yourself out of this, but you’re still in there, and I’m going to need you to come back to me as Cas. She needs you to come back as Cas.”

“I know you want to do something irresponsible and reckless, but you can’t kill him.”

“I came back for you that night. Just like I told you I would. I came back for you, and you weren’t there. You promised me, Princess.”

“The Queen will be most pleased with your devotion, Hawke. I’m sure she’ll reward you greatly for your service to the Crown.”

“Only the bad can be influenced, Princess.”

“I don’t know if you picked up on what I was feeling during that time. I was a… “I was a fucking mess of guilt and worry, and this desperation I didn’t fully understand then. I just knew I couldn’t allow you to remain under the Blood Crown’s control. That you deserved a shot at a real life.”

“We are of two worlds. He is only of one, and it’s far too easy, even for a god and a Primal, to lose themselves if they stay in their animal form for too long.”

“Fear and bravery are often one and the same. It either makes you a warrior or a coward. The only difference is the person it resides inside.”

“I should’ve known something was up with the Duchess when she had no problem with me being in your chambers, but things always seem different in hindsight, don’t they? I couldn’t even consider then that they knew who I was and not only allowed me to take you but practically helped facilitate it.”

“I told you the truth, Princess. I’m intrigued by you, and it’s fairly rare anyone intrigues me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you about that. It wasn’t that I was hiding it from you. I just didn’t want you to feel embarrassed. I also figured you’d probably stab me if you ever learned I had been in your bedchamber while you slept. More than once.”

“I’d already fallen for you, despite what I said to Kieran. I didn’t know it wasn’t only lust and obsession. That I was already deeply and madly in love with you—your stubbornness and bravery, your kindness, and that delightful vicious streak that runs deep in you. I just didn’t know that was what I was feeling because love…it wasn’t something I thought I deserved.”