A Soul of Ash and Blood

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you about that. It wasn’t that I was hiding it from you. I just didn’t want you to feel embarrassed. I also figured you’d probably stab me if you ever learned I had been in your bedchamber while you slept. More than once.”

“You can’t change what happened in there. Just like you can’t change the fact that the courtyard used to give you peace. You just replace your last memory—a bad one—with a new one—a good one. And you keep doing that until the initial one no longer outweighs the replacement.”

“You’re going to hate that you begged me to kiss you, to do more. But even without my blood in you, I know you’ve never stopped wanting me. But when I’m deep inside you again, and I will be, you won’t be able to blame the influence of blood or anything else.”

“We all know what is ultimately at risk here. Not just what we’ve carved out in New Haven, but our lives. Our futures. Our children’s futures. And if we’ve got to bleed for that, we will.”

“I know exactly who she is. Not what she is. Maybe you’ve forgotten that she’s not just a godsdamn inanimate object whose only purpose is to serve a kingdom, but I haven’t.”

“Fear and bravery are often one and the same. It either makes you a warrior or a coward. The only difference is the person it resides inside.”

“That strange feeling I’d felt when we were beneath the willow? The sensation of rightness? It was a part of my soul recognizing yours. Heartmate. That’s what I felt falling into place. I had no idea that was what I was feeling then.”

“Oh, so now you claim ownership of that title? Bear all the responsibilities of such? Good. About damn time. Your parents and Atlantia will rejoice. Alastir will likely come in his pants from happiness, and blah, blah, what-the-fuck-ever, but you aren’t just going to go in there as his Prince. You will be going in there as the Prince of Atlantia—the Prince who governs us all.”

“Well, damn. So, you’re telling me that you went through the Ascension and completed the Culling without going into stasis?”

“I’d already fallen for you, despite what I said to Kieran. I didn’t know it wasn’t only lust and obsession. That I was already deeply and madly in love with you—your stubbornness and bravery, your kindness, and that delightful vicious streak that runs deep in you. I just didn’t know that was what I was feeling because love…it wasn’t something I thought I deserved.”

“The loss of a parent or a family member lingers long after they’re gone, the pain lessening but never fading. Years later, you’ll still find yourself thinking that you’d do anything to get them back.”

“All it takes is a second for your enemy to gain the upper hand. Nothing more than the length of a heartbeat, given to either arrogance or vengeance, to lose all which truly matters. And if that isn’t something you’ve yet learned, you will.”

“No one knows about any of that—what I used to do to escape everything. Except for Kieran. He knows. He had no choice with the bond.”

“I know you want to do something irresponsible and reckless, but you can’t kill him.”

“The fear I felt when word of your attack reached me on the way back to the keep? I should’ve known then. Kieran did. More so than before. He saw my panic, what I was willing to do to save you.”

“I should’ve known then, and maybe I did on some subconscious level because that’s when I started rethinking my plans, wondering how I could give you choice and freedom. I think I knew even then, before we spent time under the willow and left Masadonia, that I couldn’t just send you back to the Ascended. But I didn’t know how to acknowledge it. I don’t think I was capable of doing so then, to be honest.”

“Talk to her. That’s what Nyktos did when she was in stasis. I don’t know if she heard him, but I think it helped. I know it helped him.”

“I prefer the name Casteel or Cas,” I stated. “If you don’t want to call me that, you can call me Prince Casteel Da’Neer, the second son of King Valyn Da’Neer, brother of Prince Malik Da’Neer, but do not call me the Dark One. That is not my name.”