Nothing says I love you like trespassing, public humiliation, and a town-wide Christmas spectacle to win your crush back.
Atlas "Max" Maxheimer did not sign up for this. One minute, he's anxiously trying to keep his family's Christmas tree farm from imploding. The next? He's passed out in the snow after getting clocked by a suspiciously strong bottle of soda.
Enter Betty: new in town, full of holiday cheer, and helping her uncle open a rival tree farm next door. Max is convinced she's out to destroy everything Evergreen Farm stands for. Betty thinks Max might be one sleigh short of a winter parade.
Cue the holiday chaos.
Between blizzards, blown reputations, wildly misguided romantic plots, and one stolen ornament with a seriously tragic backstory, this small-town war turns into something far messier—and much more delicious—than either of them expected.
Why You Should Read This Book
Tropes
Trigger Warnings
Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
“It’s one thing to create a business. It’s a whole other thing to try to sell an experience, and that’s the difference between a successful business and one that crashes and burns after the first year.”
“I don’t have a hate list, but if I were to have a hate list, your name would not be on it.”
“For the record, I wasn’t trespassing in a creepy way. Just, you know, trying to gather information.”
“The only time I ever dominate is in the bedroom.”
“I didn’t wear a bra because I figured you’d strip me down the minute I walked through the door, but boy, was I wrong. We’ve been doing arts and crafts for an hour now, and not a single orgasm has been had.”
“Could be a new thing. Maybe instead of a crowbar at check-in, they each get a how-to tip sheet with a box of chocolate-covered cherries. We could call it the cherry cordial sixty-nine.”
“You can run anything by me. You know I’m here to support you.”
“I was going to tell her that I love her, because I knew you were coming home, I knew I was going to have to have a hard conversation with you, and I wanted her to know how I felt before I had that conversation.”
“They were clearly playing around with the garland in a sexual manner, and we walked in on them. It’s got to be something the young people are doing these days. Probably saw it on social media somewhere.”
“I’m clearly not a fan of what you’re trying to do. I think it’s wrong, I think it’s vindictive, and I don’t understand why you’re doing it, especially since you don’t really know me or my family, but . . . Jesus Christ, Betty. I’m so fucking attracted to you that it’s . . . it’s fucking with my head.”
“Don’t tempt me. I might pull you under some mistletoe and knock those boots right off your feet.”
“I love her, Dwight. I’d do anything for her. Fucking anything. I was actually . . . hell, I was going to take her to the outlook point, and I was going to tell her everything today. That’s where we were headed. I was going to tell her how this all started and how it turned into so much more.”
“Dude, if this is about the invaders, I’m not fucking doing this today. I’m tired, and I want to get home so I can just hang out with my wife and daughters.”
“You might annoy the fuck out of me, but like you said, best friends forever.”
“I thought about these lips all fucking day.”
“Fucking delicious. Jesus, I want you for dessert every goddamn day.”
“Bringing you here, it wasn’t so I could manipulate you, so you could believe that I’m some kind of good guy when I’m not. I brought you here because the moment I thought that you might not have a backup power source, I felt this deep-rooted panic inside me.”
“Dude, I’m not kidding you when I say I think she’s it. I know it hasn’t been long since I’ve known her, but I’m not kidding, man. I feel it in my bones. She’s it.”
Subscribe to Late Night Reads Weekly Newsletter
Get early access to our TBR list, podcast episodes, bonus content, irresistible book recommendations, and so much more!
