Nothing says I love you like trespassing, public humiliation, and a town-wide Christmas spectacle to win your crush back.
Atlas "Max" Maxheimer did not sign up for this. One minute, he's anxiously trying to keep his family's Christmas tree farm from imploding. The next? He's passed out in the snow after getting clocked by a suspiciously strong bottle of soda.
Enter Betty: new in town, full of holiday cheer, and helping her uncle open a rival tree farm next door. Max is convinced she's out to destroy everything Evergreen Farm stands for. Betty thinks Max might be one sleigh short of a winter parade.
Cue the holiday chaos.
Between blizzards, blown reputations, wildly misguided romantic plots, and one stolen ornament with a seriously tragic backstory, this small-town war turns into something far messier—and much more delicious—than either of them expected.
Why You Should Read This Book
Tropes
Trigger Warnings
Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
“I thought about these lips all fucking day.”
“Fucking delicious. Jesus, I want you for dessert every goddamn day.”
“I fucking love kissing you.”
“They were clearly playing around with the garland in a sexual manner, and we walked in on them. It’s got to be something the young people are doing these days. Probably saw it on social media somewhere.”
“It’s one thing to create a business. It’s a whole other thing to try to sell an experience, and that’s the difference between a successful business and one that crashes and burns after the first year.”
“I’m clearly not a fan of what you’re trying to do. I think it’s wrong, I think it’s vindictive, and I don’t understand why you’re doing it, especially since you don’t really know me or my family, but . . . Jesus Christ, Betty. I’m so fucking attracted to you that it’s . . . it’s fucking with my head.”
“And then I got to know you, I saw myself in you, I saw how well we meshed, how I felt comfortable around you, and I immediately knew, this is my person. And I went from seeking revenge to attempting to get you to like me.”
“You might annoy the fuck out of me, but like you said, best friends forever.”
“For the record, I wasn’t trespassing in a creepy way. Just, you know, trying to gather information.”
“You can run anything by me. You know I’m here to support you.”
“I don’t have a hate list, but if I were to have a hate list, your name would not be on it.”
“Could be a new thing. Maybe instead of a crowbar at check-in, they each get a how-to tip sheet with a box of chocolate-covered cherries. We could call it the cherry cordial sixty-nine.”
“I love her, Dwight. I’d do anything for her. Fucking anything. I was actually . . . hell, I was going to take her to the outlook point, and I was going to tell her everything today. That’s where we were headed. I was going to tell her how this all started and how it turned into so much more.”
“The only time I ever dominate is in the bedroom.”
“Dude, if this is about the invaders, I’m not fucking doing this today. I’m tired, and I want to get home so I can just hang out with my wife and daughters.”
“Dude, I’m not kidding you when I say I think she’s it. I know it hasn’t been long since I’ve known her, but I’m not kidding, man. I feel it in my bones. She’s it.”
“So please, forgive me . . . forgive us, because we don’t want you to go. We want you here, contributing to this town, adding friendship and laughter and smiles. Please stay, Betty, because . . . I love you and I can’t fathom you leaving. Not when I just found you.”
“I was going to tell her that I love her, because I knew you were coming home, I knew I was going to have to have a hard conversation with you, and I wanted her to know how I felt before I had that conversation.”
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