Alone and Looking to Bone! Loudmouthed Mountain Man Seeks Fiery Woman to Grow Old With.
I might look like a tall, tattooed, bearded neanderthal...but like an onion, I have layers. Swipe right if you like a proud cat daddy who catches feelings after direct eye contact.
All I wanted was a casual plus-one to my brother's destination wedding, but those idiots on my family tree hacked my dating profile and sabotaged my quest for the perfect weekend fling. Now I'm stuck on a tropical vacation with only my hand to keep me company.
Until I’m forced to share a room with the bane of my existence: my sister-in-law’s best friend.
Dakota has hated me for the past seven years. I wasn’t losing much sleep over her screaming rants because she was some other guy’s problem. Or she was, until she got divorced.
Being stuck in paradise with a woman who loathes your very existence doesn't sound hot, but after an unexpected moment in our shared palapa, she starts screaming at me in a different way.
What happens in paradise stays in paradise. That is, until Dakota shows up on my mountain with a proposition: be her wingman to help her regain her pre-divorce confidence.
Suddenly, Dakota’s not just the person I love to fight with. She’s the woman I want everything with.
Why You Should Read This Book
Tropes
Trigger Warnings
Seven Year Itch
“It was always you that hated me, Ace. I’ve just been defending myself around you for the past seven years. I don’t hate you. I don’t particularly like you . . . but I don’t hate you.”
“The time for me to let a man have any control over what I feel in the bedroom or out is over.”
“You’re a ten. You’re a pain-in-the-ass ten.”
“I’m just happy to see you glowing, girl. Randal tried to suck all the joy out of you, but I can tell that you are in a really good space. Even if this enemy stays an enemy, at least he’s helping you get your sex sparkle back.”
“I look at toys as teammates, not competition. They just add a level of excitement and variety. They encourage open communication as you navigate the toy and figure out what works and doesn’t work. They can prolong a sexual experience and help you bond with your partner.”
“He never wanted to be anything less than perfect in front of you. But the hard truth is he needed someone to take him seriously before he could take himself seriously.”
“For the past fucking month, I can’t think of you without getting hard. But for once in my whole damn life, I cared about more than just sex. I cared about making you feel special. I cared about watching you shine. I cared about my family and friends seeing you in your element because I was proud as fuck of you. So proud I felt smug . . . like . . . look at this chick I get to call mine. Be fucking jealous, universe.”
“I just know I don’t want to end up in another relationship where I’m insecure and letting a man get in my head. And I think a little foray with some sex-positive individuals will help me with that.”
“The truth is, your father was a mess until he met me . . . in his personal life and his business. If it wasn’t for me, he would have been whoring around town and working road crew for that concrete company still.”
“It’s about not letting yourself be numbered by anyone when you’re fucking infinite.”
“From the moment I met you, I could see that. You had the world by the fucking balls . . . and you did whatever you wanted. Only a guy with zero fucking common sense would somehow miss the fact that you are limitless.”
“I don’t think I ever really hated you, Calder. I think I just hated that you pieced something together about my marriage before I did, and that was humiliating. How did I not see how wrong Randal was? How did I not know it was a mistake?”
“You don’t have to like me to fuck me.”
“It’s not big. It’s chill, casual sex. We’re fuck buddies. No feelings involved.”
“I’ve wanted to fuck you all night long. On the drive to your house I wanted to fuck you. I wanted to fuck you the moment you stepped out of your house. And I desperately wanted to fuck you when you were on that stage making your big speech. You, Ace. It’s all about fucking you, because despite being a pain in my ass, you are all I want.”
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